Ok, so here’s where it all started…
Late 2021, that weird limbo between Christmas and New Year.
Me: one box of Lindor down, journalling on the sofa, sandwiched between my 4-year-old son ( running commentary of his Minecraft game) and my 8-year-old daughter (sketching Pokemon in her new drawing pad).
I write:
What if you spent a year doing all the things you know you need to do to be happy and healthy every single day?
Hmmm… I think. Like I’ve ever been able to do that…
But my pen keeps moving…
What if you treated your body the way you’d hope your children would treat theirs?
What if you stopped learning and started implementing the stuff you know makes a difference?
What if you focused on making your year meaningful rather than happy?
What if you knew exactly what you wanted and made it happen?
What if you kept promises to yourself as fiercely as you kept promises to others?
What if you cared more about what YOU think and what YOU want rather than everyone else?
What if you spent a whole year following your bliss?
Who would you be? Where would you go? What would you create?
Now for somebody whose devoted much of the last decade to self development, the answer I wrote (because who doesn’t have conversations with themselves in writing?!) was pretty sobering:
If I did all of those things, I’d be living the life I’m meant to live.
Ha. That was a bit of a kick in the teeth. Because this life’s not all bad is it?
Ok it looks very different to the one lived by my highest version – me and her are on fairly familiar terms; I used to go and visit her frequently in my future self visualisations but I guess while she’s got busy being fabulous, I kind of hit 40 and subconsciously decided it was time to be more realistic…
Whoah…! (I say this bit out loud and my children look around at me like a couple of startled meerkats).
Realistic?! I’ve been many things in my life, but I have never been realistic.
Ok then, let’s just take a look at this closely… Just how unrealistic would I really need to be to live the life that apparently, I’m meant to live?
Me Vs My Highest Version
Ok so we look the same (give or take about 8lbs), we share the same values, and interests, and desires and loves, and some of the same flaws too (no interest in being perfect here), so I don’t have to have a personality transplant or surgery or anything…
In other ways though, we are poles apart.
Mainly, she has a different way of just being. A kind of self-assured, confident, serene, powerful – dare I say it – rather goddess like demeanour that belongs only to those rare humans who know who they really are, and aren’t ashamed to be it (I’m thinking Beyonce here).
Our hobbies and interests – they’re the same! It’s not like she’s into hot coal walking or parkour – she likes all the things I like… Reads all the books I read! The only difference is she actually pursues what she loves and learns on a regular basis, rather just reading up on the theory and making excuses about ‘not having enough time.’
When I really analyse it in every area – health, relationships, parenting, education, finance, spirituality, inspiration – the difference between me and my highest version is a paradox, in that it’s both a giant chasm and no difference at all.
It’s the distance between being realistic and being true to myself.
Here’s one of the problems I have, as I see it and it’s the same reason I hate making New Year’s resolutions – because not following through on things that could make a difference is how I traditionally protect myself against failing at them. Ha! I didn’t actually pull out the stops so I didn’t actually fail. IN YOUR FACE UNIVERSE!!
This, I realise is not the way to live a fulfilling life. This I realise is in fact a vicious circle. And I don’t like vicious circles. Or even roundabouts (I have a dodgy middle ear).
And that’s when the idea came to me.
What if 2022 was not about trying to create a whole new me (which I’ll inevitably fail to do), but simply a controlled experiment into my own potential?
None of that pressure to succeed, just curiosity around what certain actions and explorations could result in…… And then when I see those results, rather than judging them as success or failure, I’d just keep on doing them or tweak the method…
I also have a second reason that this is a good idea.
Writing about it would keep me accountable AND give me the opportunity to muse about the other trillion things that interest me and I’ve struggled to really know how to start writing about like:
- Nutrition and mindful eating
- What it means to be a parent right now and how to bring your kid up like a hippy without having to homeschool them so they don’t get bullied
- Sovereingty
- The power of healing circles and women’s groups
- Sisterhood
- Gardening – because while my garden currently looks like a hang out for hobos I bloody love herbs and flowers and having my hands in the soil
- Natural health
- Routines, rituals and ceremonial living
- Storytelling and Folklore
- The esoteric – let’s hear it for all those amazing teachers of astrology; spiritual alchemy, meditation, visualisation who have changed my life entirely
- Community – this one is last and looks pretty small down here, but this one I believe is going to be so important this next year.
Ok, I know. This isn’t for everyone. This is either for you or not for you. (And if you’re here because you want to learn about copy and content and storytelling, don’t worry I’ve got lots of things coming up for all that).
But for those of you who are interested in experimenting with life; with analysing potential; tapping into old wisdom and new ideas: The 2022 Experiment here on this blog is going to be all about that.
Right, so since this is an experiment I better have a hypothesis, so here it is: (clears throat)
HYPOTHESIS: What would happen if everyday, week and month, I committed to doing the simple things I intuitively know I need to do in each area of my life in order to thrive – who would I become?
My theory is I’d eventually become HER. The highest version of me who I’ve recently lost touch with. But since this is an experiment that doesn’t have to be the outcome. I can get curious about it. And if none of the stuff I think I need to do works, well, then at least I can stop beating myself up and just be realistic like most people would tell me to be.
So here’s to The 2022 Experiment. I’ll be blogging about it a couple of times a month and sharing my journey as much as I can. I’d love it if you’d come along for the ride as I think these things are always easier with a bit of like-minded company by your side. So wanna join me (You get shotgun….)
Love,
Cate xxx
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